Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Trick or treat, I guess


I'll admit it.

These days, I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween.

Like every other kid, I loved it when I was younger. At eight years of age, what could've been better than free candy? (Free baseball cards, perhaps. Although no one gave those away in my trick-or-treating days.)

As I get older and (hopefully) move into a nice, two-story house on a street corner, I'm sure I'll start to appreciate it more. Given that we don't get any trick-or-treaters in the condominium complex in which I live, I've never had the "adult" Halloween experience of giving candy away.

I'm not one to "teepee" or egg other people's houses, either.

Am I one of the few?

Probably.

As much as I'd like to think otherwise, Halloween is basically just another day on the calendar at this point. (Although I may have to go and re-watch an episode from one of my favorite TV shows sometime tonight.)

The fact that I don't like horror movies adds on to that.

Now, "scary" baseball cards, on the other hand...well, that's another story.

I don't remember exactly how I came across that Mother's Cookies card of Rusty Staub at the top of the post.

Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if I dropped it in fear the moment after I removed it from the package.

With Staub's purplish flesh and zombie-like state, how could I not?

This card has been burned into my memory for all the wrong reasons. If I hear the name "Rusty Staub", this is what I picture.

It's one spooky piece of cardboard.

Still, it doesn't come close to taking the "scariest baseball card" honors.




This does.

A hundred times over.

Assuming that this blog is around years down the road, you can bet that I'll be showing this card every single October 31st.

I'm told that this piece of "art" is supposed to resemble "The Human Vacuum Cleaner", Brooks Robinson.

I sure don't believe it, though.

In fact, I don't know what the scariest part of this card is.

Could it be that eerie yellow glow behind his head? The scar-like mutilations on the Orioles cap? Or is it Robinson's horror-esque face?

The face. It's got to be the face.

Yet, despite the nightmarish qualities this card carries, I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

I collect Hall of Famers. Brooks Robinson is a Hall of Famer. One of my favorite ones, at that.

For better or worse, it's become a permanent part of my collection.

You have to be a little crazy to collect baseball cards.

How else could I explain it?

...

Ah, what the heck.

I might as well try to have a little fun on Halloween.

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to sing one of my favorite songs...through cardboard. A song I've known by heart for as long as I can remember.

Feel free to join in if you want, because I'm sure you know the words.




"Trick or treat...




...smell my feet!"




"Give me something good to eat!"




"If you don't...




...I don't care!"




"I'll pull down your underwear!"

...

Hmmmm.

I feel better already.

Singing that song makes me feel like a kid again.

I guess October 31st isn't all bad.

On that note...




Happy Halloween, everyone!

I'm sure I'll enjoy it more in the coming years.

At least when Brooks Robinson stops giving me nightmares.

2 comments:

Spiegel83 said...

Probably between the ages of 18-25, I really dug adult halloween. Dressing up and going to parties was a ton of fun. Now halloween just makes me grumpy.

AdamE said...

When I was college age I like Halloween because all the girls dressed like whores for the day.

As for the scariest baseball card ever:

http://www.checkoutmycards.com/Cards/Baseball/2004/Topps_All-Time_Fan_Favorites/15/Bob_Sheppard_ANC/2725820